Muggles – Aka ‘Building a social environment of SM people :-) II’

Good Morning,

I would like to take up again the aspect of building an SM-shaped social environment. Last time I wrote this mid of may in the thread “Building a social environment of SM people”.

To start with, my lady and I now have the term “Muggle” for “Vanillas”. That fits better. They’re different. May be nice. May be good-looking, may do great things, may be stupid, may be arrogant. Ultimately, however, these attributes do not matter. There are Muggles somehow.

I wrote in the above article about trying to build an SM environment. I wrote about organizing a barbecue. I wrote that we used WhatsApp groups with people we went to parties with together.

What became of building of a social environment?

The barbecue took place. It was nice. Interesting. We had invited ALL participants for a barbecue through a telegram group, in which a part of the SM people of our city is networked. 15 came :-). They came in, partly curiously, whether we meant it honest, that they should now enter our door :-).

Many people knew us afterwards. And they got us known as a couple – as we had invited – and not as individuals.

Afterwards we found another group … organized over hundrets of miles, networked via a team messenger. The organizer of this group had pre-filtered well – making this team messenger a kind of social network for trusted people. You post traces of yesterday’s canings. You make an appointment for parties. WE asked in one of the channels several times, who wanted to have breakfast with us. 3x in the meantime :-).

We found nice people. By Connections, which developed thereby, we found ourselves one evening on a barbeque, which became in the course of the evening in the cellar of the inviting pair to the SM-Party :-). My lady and me went as first in the basement and came out as last. I had worked on her for the longest. When we came upstairs, three girls were standing in a circle, beaten with whips by two men circulating around them. When we went outside, people were sitting around a campfire again.

We learned: THAT is where we want to go. And: we want that for us too. We were very motivated to plan this ourselves. We surfed for furniture that you could buy. We surfed for furniture (buck?), which you might also regularly leave in the living room.


Oh well. And then an old friend of mine invited him for his birthday. We actually wanted to parallel to a scene event. “Are we going to the Muggle event?”

In advance, my lady had noticed several times that she gets in her working environment problems to talk about her life. It’s not that she can not talk around unfitting aspects. But the things that interest her most, she can hardly tell.

From my professional environment, I realize that I am only interested in one person as a person: the one client who tells me frankly that he is going to a dominatrix. The rest of my professional environment is “nice”. But they are muggles.

Finally, we decided to replace our scene event that weekend with another. We’re going to that Muggle birthday. But are also a bit uncertain, if we do not ask ourselves after 2 hours, what we do there.

It’s Muggles. It does not fit right. My lady can not just kneel in front of me. There may be people who look funny when she sits in front of the couch on the floor.

Well. We will see…

Some thoughts on posting

Hi all,

as you can see, we have not posted for a while.

Reasons are – upcoming from the holiday in late May – thoughts where this should lead. I noticed more and more that there was a risk that the posts would also be read by our ex-partners. Will I discuss posts in court? Or in front of other government departments? Or with Sm folks who find themselves in the posts?

These thoughts came primarily from me – me lady also started to stop posting in parallel. I also noticed that there are several blogs on the net that have started up – and then were abandoned by their authors

Meanwhile, we see that serious traffic has developed on the blog 🙂 . That’s nice.

I also think that at least I – after I had my first court date with my ex-wife in the beginning of August – slowly get more relaxed about posting.

We have a lot to write … and I will continue 🙂 .


After the court date

I just had my court date. The one about the child division.

I found interesting, what load fell away from me. Afterwards. And what effect it had on me in retrospect.

The date itself went well. Once again I had the feeling that many points in my life had prepared me for this very point in my life.

I talked several times on the way to court what I wanted to say as opening – to hedge the halo effect. Because I had learned that in coaching.

I sat in before the date in the court hall with the representatives of the government agencies and led loose small talk. Because I had learned that in the business field.

I had my last court papers printed in court. Because I always had it with me.

I came very close in time – to understanding of other people – and yet was without nervousness. Three minutes before the start of the date. Because my appointments as a leading engineer were always timed like that 😂 .

Etc. .

The appointment itself went well. I omit details.

AFTER the appointment I needed around until the next evening to recognize what had happened there.

At first I only regocnized the results at the intellectual level. I did not feel them.

When talking to the children at home, I saw the differences.

I realized: eh, that remains that way now. I found myself planning to be more committed to the future of caring for the children. Actually, I had done that before … but in my gut feeling it had come much stronger.

The next morning I was sitting in a cafe with my children (really only my two). My lady sat at work 😉. She asked me by telegram how I am.

My Answer: I am so deeply relaxed that I could fall asleep sitting down.

And so it was.

The court hearing had tentatively decided how to proceed with the children. I had previously unconsciously spent a great mental energy on the uncertainty of how to proceed. When my body was not forced to do this anymore, it became happy – and tired.