Our view on the BDSM-based Domestic Discipline

We had an interesting, long discussion with friends yesterday. It lasted until deep after midnight.

The topic was on relationship models 😇. It is noticeable how far my lady and I are away from the social standard in the meantime – and with which vehemence certain ideas set with us.

We indeed firmly believe that equality in a relationship is exhausting 😲. For both sides.

For example, my lady was on vacation with her family. Someone had left a jam jar on the table. Those present seriously discussed who was going to clean it up. They were frustrated that it was still there. After an hour 😭. And continued to discuss.

We see couples seriously 😵 discussing the splitting of work on the many things in life (shopping, doctor’s appointments, hairdresser’s appointments, tidying up rooms, we don’t have any more garbage bags, we need new diapers in size M, …).

We experience that female parts of a relationship buy a dog and the ladies joke months later that there has actually been no sex with her husband since the dog arrived.

We still know discussions and frustration about which partner would have had more or less orgasms lately.

Who reads to the children? How to solve problem XYZ?

Our opinion / Our knowledge / Our faith

My lady and I firmly believe that in a relationship one person should take the lead.

We believe that this works great when the leading person is seriously interested in the optinion of the other part.

We believe that the leading person can actively incorporate the experience and skills of the other part and both will have more of it afterwards.

We believe that in a relationship, one person should have the “final say” and both have more of it.

We believe that taking responsibility by taking leadership leads to responsible behavior among responsible persons.

We believe that a passive person will not feel oppressed, but protected, happy and guided.

We believe that both parts of such a relationship should write a set of rules that they both take seriously.

We believe that such a set of rules should contain clear roll-maintaining elements that may well contain that the guided part is beaten as part of maintenance spanking or regularly “used” sexually.

We believe that this relationship concept results in two mentally and sexually balanced individuals, which releases a lot of positive energy where power struggles and imbalances have been before.

We believe that third parties, including children, perceive a loving, balanced, reliable, teamplaying couple that can move mountains.


The above is a kind of creed of the Domestic Discipline 😀.

I know that these sentences frighten many people. From our experience it is also practical that most people first get to know us as a couple and naturally only get to know what happens in the background after getting to know us better. If it were the other way around, we would probably meet with fierce resistance.

An important prerequisite for the above to apply is the passive disposition of the “guided” part of such a relationship. Only in this way can the necessary real consensus emerge, from which both parties do the relationship.

But because of contents like the one above, I gave this website a “16” rating.

Related posts, which I wrote in the course of time, on the topic

And on we go – to CIS

We’ve been together for a year since some time. We reflect more and more our relationship. We realize that we want to go “further” in the relationship. Concretely: go to CIS 🙈.

I investigated the web, interested in the possibilities. I found it interesting that I found almost nothing on the net. For example, if you search for “TPE”, you will find a lot of forum posts. If you search in the same forums for “CIS” you won’t find anything 🙄.

We conclude from it that we stand slowly alone on far corridor. Both in the SM environment of our region, and now in the Internet there are hardly any references to which one can refer.

For us CIS will mean that my lady should know that she is not coming away from me. She wants to know that she can cry helplessly over situations – but she has to chum up to me as a gentleman. I, on the other hand, look forward to cultivating her and our relationship in this state.

For a long time, I felt that such a path of relationship was unthinkable 😂 . Attributes like “too exhausting” or “only possible with women who are mentally too far away from me” were buzzing around in my head.

My lady, on the other hand, offered herself throughout the year. On many occasions. Again and again. She realized that she would trust me. That she could dare to live with me in a relationship she would not dare to have with others.

She advised me which striking tools hurt in which ways. She tried out things with me in shops like whole-head latex masks. She offered several times – and made it clear that she liked it that I decide about her so much that I give her to other men. Together we went our way deeper and deeper into letting my lady be used by other gentlemen (see blog posts “Use I/III/III”).

Over the months I experienced that my lady reacted all the happier the more I had moved away from “normal” social standards in individual deeds. I experienced how she accepted certain things from me, trusting in the overall situation or in me as a whole.

I slowly see that I switch off my empathy according to the situation – I am then no longer empathetic towards my lady, but towards the lady I have later, after the impressions of my consequence/ cruelty/love have sunk into her.

This in turn leads to the fact that I really head for the CIS. Respectfully. But knowing, that we will do it…