Disclaimer: this article is part of a series of articles, the writing of which I broke off and which I commented on afterwards. Please read the comments.
The following article series shall give a summary of some days with all children in our house in bullet points, without much editing. I will just write down once a day how my day went.
Monday – plan
After one SM party on Saturday (5-6h sleep) and one on Sunday (6h sleep), I started the week tired . All children were with our partners until Monday morning. They came back over the day. They always need a certain amount of shaking up, which actually has to be supervised. They also tend to listen badly to the new housekeeper. So it would be smart if I was available from around 4:00 pm to deal with the children.
For this to work out, I need to be done by 4 pm with my work.
Monday – reality
- From about 8:30, I sat in the living room working. Coffee beside me, juice spritzer beside me. Cereal in my stomach. I sat there, did my job, but was slow. Because I was tired from the weekend.
- Towards the end of the morning: I got faster. Especially because I realized what I still had to do. The first customers started to ask questions – I became fast .
- 12:30: my oldest came home first. A short time later the oldest of my lady.
I took both children, took my time, let them arrive. All good. And fine.
The two of them first checked who had the cooler days with the other parent. I gave them the time instead of bullying them to do the homework. I’m happy for the kids.
After about ten minutes, they start doing their homework – and are happy with verve, screaming dirty words and fooling around. Since the housekeeper can’t get this under control, came out of my room, I took the oldest of my lady into my workroom, placed him on a small table. My eldest stayed alone in the living room – but worked there apparently well.
- 13:30: the oldest of my lady didn’t seem to really produce results when doing her homework until here. Now he tells me that he is too tired to do homework. Wants to lie down in my bed. I agree that he could do that. When he understands that he will not get meal until the homework is done, is he awake enough to continue doing it? Turns out his dad did additional unasked “homework” with him over the weekend.
I realize the context. The kid didn’t have a break. The kid and I get to take the fall. Homework has to be done… him going to school tomorrow without it isn’t an option. Shit. How do I get the kid through this?
I make it clear to the little man that I understand his problem – but the solution, that he would be at school tomorrow without homework, would not exist. He’d better sit down and get it off his things. Then he could play fast.
- 14:00: the housekeeper has finished dinner. The oldest of my lady is at about 3 lines of homework. I’m going crazy because I won’t get to work like this.
Great. The little man needs my attention now. At least that would be the only thing that would help him out. On the other hand, homework is his job. I decide that he’ll probably have to learn that its wiser to get rid of the homework. We’re going out to dinner.
- 14:20: my eldest has to play in his room so that the oldest of my lady has the living room free – and thus has a chance to finish in a concentrated way despite his demotivated mood. Nevertheless, the homework takes forever. In between I have telephone conferences with customers. Always with headset and mute button, as the children are both unbalanced.
The oldest of my lady is totally frustrated that he “always has so much homework”. (Jippieh. The child had no break. The father’s weekend homework was reeeeally good for the child) Fuck, I have to work and will not be able to solve that. But: the homework is not my job…
He finishes at some point. I’m cuddling up in bed with him and reading the reading homework. The kids played beautifully afterwards.
- Afternoon: the other kids are coming. I’m partly on the phone, rest of the time I work as continuously as possible until about 5.45pm. Because of the noise, I have the feeling that the new housekeeper cannot manage it. I continue working, sometimes accepting children for a short time.
- 5:45pm: my lady comes in from work and points out to me that the children would de facto have dinner. They were eating leftovers of the pancakes from lunch on their own. We should possibly go straight to the food instead of eating in about 30min.
I take a look at the kids at the table… and I decide it’s time to stop working.
- From here on: slowly. Consciously take time for the children. Admire and discuss things that have been built. Have a good time.
In between accidental instinctive use of force (pulling with the hair towards the wardrobe) against a totally overtired child, who repeatedly gives me the finger when he should undress, knocks things over, throws things at me and doesn’t want to bring his things to the wardrobe.
I have the feeling of having failed, lead the little one to his mother, so that she takes him over, because I shouldn’t do it anymore. She orders me to please put him outside the door. I do that. Escalation.
But: at least now that the line of approach is clear. The kids are generally going along with it and all start acting lovingly again. (Adjust the crown on the head, move on.) Eat, teach kids to brush their teeth and put on pajamas. But: they would much rather continue playing. They just got together (4:00pm). Keep working on guiding them towards the bed. Reading the night story. Leading the children to bed (I walk around with all six of them in the evening – massages, stroking, cuddling, whatever is on). Great time.
Much tenderness given and taken.
Till about 9.00pm I made hand-outs for tomorrow’s customer appointment. Nice time for two. Had a cosy evening with my lady. Watched her making a snake. Drinking wine. Chained her in bed at night. Gave the whining helpless chained lady five strikes to the butt with a paddle for maintenance. Let her satisfy me. Talk until 10:40pm. Slept.